To be helpful, I would accept just about anything. I didn’t learn to say no to repairs outside of my expertise for quite a while. Later, in my 30s, I had a musical electronics repair business. One time I replaced a heater in this one gal’s car only to find out she’d been out with another guy during the weekend I was repairing her car. I repaired many cars for gals thinking they would date me for saving them thousands of dollars in repairs.

I was very talented at fixing cars and could easily change an engine. Meanwhile, I didn’t break through my giving to get habit until my 20s. Some of the girls I dated while in high school were what the book terms as “projects,” where a guy thinks he can fix a troubled or problem girl. Through it, I identified many Nice Guy behaviors I had and eventually shed when I was young. I was thoroughly captivated with this book. Glover changed men from victims full of Nice Guy bitterness to legitimate, cohesive people. The book contains a series of forty-six “Breaking Free” activities, and the stories follow the real-life results of these Breaking Free activities. There are many example stories from over 1800 hours of working with Nice Guys. Glover eventually held therapy groups to help men kick the Nice Guy Syndrome. Nice Guy behaviors are well defined in the book, which also offers some great explanations on how Nice Guys become who they are. The women will become their projects, and the Nice Guys will drop everything for those women’s attention. Nice guys will fall over themselves to please the women they are dating. They are also looking for something to fix, especially when it comes to women. Nice Guys tend to go from one extreme to the other. Some of these Nice Guy traits include being manipulative, being passive-aggressive, being controlling, giving to get, having deep masked rage, and having problems with intimacy and sexual relationships. Many Nice Guys harbor negative traits that can make them anything but nice. It’s important to note that the term “Nice Guy” does not refer to someone with actual nice behavior but rather to someone with the belief system of the Nice Guy.

Glover encountered countless resentful and frustrated Nice Guys. In his practice as a psychotherapist, Dr. Glover states, “Nice Guys believe that if they are good, giving, and caring, they will in return be happy, loved, and fulfilled.” This is also known as Nice Guy Syndrome. Nice Guy is about the perils of becoming the Nice Guy.

Nice guy syndrome book